Colombian Wedding Experience

Sat 8th Feb 2014
Living to Be Happy 

The wedding day turned out to be an excellent learning experience directly linked to my share the love activity of the week. I didn’t know anyone who had come for the wedding, so I was actually thrown into a situation where I needed to be confident, smiley, and ready to be helpful and giving – a perfect situation to create my own reality by practising being a spiritual volunteer!

I can’t say that I succeeded. 

Although everyone was truly super nice and friendly, especially considering that no one knew me at all (apart from Paola), I felt somewhat out of place in the group. There were other people there who didn’t know everyone and mixed much better than I did, so it certainly wasn’t the fault of anyone there that I felt that way.

I think it was more because of the place that I am at personally and spiritually. These guys were all smoking (the groom and his friends were all French) and I have recently quit, and the evening before the wedding, they all went out for the pre-wedding stag and hen (bachelor) parties, and I am not interested in getting drunk or going to a strip club. I am attempting Self-compassion on a higher level, and that kind of energy is simply not what I am seeking right now.

This might make me sound prudish or boring to some people, but I do believe that my path is to a better place. One really nice guy, Tito, put it best simply by saying to me as I was heading back to the hostel as they were going off to the strip club “ahora estas en otro camino” or ‘you are on another path right now’.

The experience reminded me what David Alan Ramsdale says about the Self:

“There is no person, place or thing that is not the Self. The phenomenon we call the world totally depends on the Self. The Self is what gives it whatever degree of reality it seems to have. But the realness of it is the Self, not the world.” In other words, we create our own reality.

I could have mingled more and been more involved. Paola’s best friend Dyron went to the strip club even though he doesn’t drink and would normally never choose to go to such a place, and yet he ended up having a really enjoyable time with them and helped them all get back home safely at the end of the night.

The morning of the wedding, the plan was for Paola, Lina (her cousin), Dyron and me to go to the beach at 10am in order to return by 3.30pm for the wedding.

Of course we are in Colombia so we didn’t leave until 12.00, but at this point I was getting frustrated because it takes an hour to get to the centre from where our hotel was located, and we were running out of time.

This is where I needed to remind myself again that we create our own reality; I didn’t need to sit around waiting for the others; I could have taken some action to do what is less stressful and more compassionate for my Self.

When we went into the town centre, I talked to Paola about it. I explained that when I have no appointment, it is easy for me to go with the flow and let things just fall into place, but when I need to be somewhere at a particular time, that is when I personally would prefer to get there nice and early rather than at the last minute.

Paola explained to me the concept of controlling time. She said that sometimes clock time seems to go quickly so we do not have ‘the time’ to fit everything in, and sometimes clock time goes slowly and it is seems incredible how much we have just managed to fit in to ‘the time’ that we had.

This is because we can move in flow with what we are trying to achieve or against what we are trying to achieve. For example, if we are driving to a particular destination and running out of ‘time’ to get there, we become frustrated and start fighting the situation flowing before us – once we start fighting against what is happening, every car drives more slowly as the traffic gets worse,  and every traffic light turns red to boot.

Yet, if we move with the flow and just let things happen even when we have an appointment, things will all work out in order to get you there for the appointment you have – one way or another.

The day led to several seemingly random coincidences, including finding Lina without arranging a place to meet, meeting my friends Fabian and Mariana, who I knew were travelling in the area too but didn’t know where, and arriving at the wedding late but in good time because everyone else was running late too – the groom more than anyone :-D

The wedding was a beautiful experience! The love shared between the bride, groom and all the friends and family there was magical and really touched my heart. I wish them a wonderful ‘camino’ together!

I, on the other hand, need to get back on to my own ‘camino’; we went to check out the Greenpeace flagship boat called the 'Rainbow Warrior' the day after the wedding, and by that time my heart was not in to being a buddha at all (you can tell from the video that I was feeling shy, curled up inside, and struggling to film the experience), and so today, just like Dr. David Banner, I am taking with me my lessons learnt and heading back off alone to get back in tune with my Higher Self again.

Be inspired ♥


  1. I love how you're so focused on your food while Paola is talking at the table :) And I really love that ending scene from the Incredible Hulk TV show. Takes me back... xo

  2. Hello mr/mrs/miss/ms anonymous. Kai again? I love my food. If you know me, then you know that, and healthy food that I don't have to prepare myself is the best. If Kai or my mum prepares it, even better.

    That clip is apparently the ending of the very last episode of the Incredible Hulk. I never saw that one but looks like the poor chap ends up wandering around helping people all on his own forever (a bit like poor Sam Beckett)